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the percentage of travelling by car to go to work in different countries

the percentage of travelling by car to go to work in different countries YRR8Q
The table gives information about various modes of transportation and the amount of consumer use of them in four countries including USA, UK, France and the Netherlands. The chart illustrates specific statistic of the most factors of choosing car over other options to go to work opted by respondents of a survey in USA. By far, traveling by car features in the first position in the list of each country. For instance, 90 percent of Americans prefer to commute to their workplace by car. However, among these countries, the lowest quantity of car drive to work belongs to the residents of Holland, by just under %50. On the other hand, the least favorite category is cycling, except for people from Holland, which had chosen public transportation as their last choice to go to work. According to the bar chart, the majority of Americans, almost 40 percent, travel to their work by their own car because they have no other alternative for it. Additionally, about 30 percent of participants said that the car is required for their career. Also, a low quantity of nearly 10 percent cited their nightshifts as the reason behind using their own car to get to work. In conclusion, a great number of people in these four countries, prefer to get to their workplace by their own car. And according to American people, this is mostly due to the fact that there are no better options rather than driving their own vehicle.
The table gives information about various modes of transportation and the amount of consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of them in four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "including the USA".
including USA
, UK, France and the Netherlands. The chart illustrates specific statistic of the most factors of choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
over other options to go to work opted by respondents of a survey
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
.

By far, traveling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
features in the
first
position in the list of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of Americans prefer to commute to their workplace by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
However
, among these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the lowest quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
drive to work belongs to the residents of Holland, by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under %50.
On the other hand
, the least favorite category is cycling,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from Holland, which had chosen public transportation as their last choice to go to work.

According to the bar chart, the majority of Americans, almost 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, travel to their work by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no other alternative for it.
Additionally
, about 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of participants said that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is required
for their career.
Also
, a low quantity of
nearly
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
cited their
Possible spelling mistake found.
nightshifts
as the reason behind using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work.

In conclusion
, a great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in these four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their workplace by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. And according to American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this is
mostly
due to the fact that there are no better options
rather
than driving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle.
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IELTS academic the percentage of travelling by car to go to work in different countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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