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the percentage of self employ workers of the total workforce

the percentage of self employ workers of the total workforce 5kPBe
The graph compares five countries, namely Russian Republic, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Greece and Turkey in terms of the percentage of workers during a span of 10 years from 1998. It is clear that the proportions off employers in five countries dramatically increase. In addition, the figures for self-employ people in Turkey dominate consistently the rankings. A closer look at the data reveals that the proportions of people doing own business in Russian Republic, Slovakia and Czech Republic ranged from 5% to 12% in 1998. The figure for employers in Greece come a second, with 41% in 1998. The percentage of workers in Turkey occupied the top ranking position with 55% in 1998. It is noticeable that the proportion of entrepreneur in Russian Republic lagged behind, with 5%. The percentages of people work in own business in Slovakia and Czech Republic marked nearly similar quantities, at 11% and 13% accordingly. This figure in Turkey gained 39%, which was 6% higher than that in Greece.
The graph compares five countries,
namely
Russian Republic, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Greece and Turkey in terms of the percentage of workers during a span of 10 years from 1998. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the proportions off employers in five countries
dramatically
increase.
In addition
, the figures for self-employ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Turkey dominate
consistently
the rankings. A closer look at the data reveals that the proportions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business in Russian Republic, Slovakia and Czech Republic ranged from 5% to 12% in 1998. The figure for employers in Greece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a second, with 41% in 1998. The percentage of workers in Turkey occupied the top ranking position with 55% in 1998. It is noticeable that the proportion of entrepreneur in Russian Republic lagged behind, with 5%. The percentages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business in Slovakia and Czech Republic marked
nearly
similar quantities, at 11% and 13%
accordingly
. This figure in Turkey gained 39%, which was 6% higher than that in Greece.
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IELTS academic the percentage of self employ workers of the total workforce

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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