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Pie chars . Comparison of energy production.

Pie chars. Comparison of energy production. 3WBbw
The given pie chars present information about the amount of energy manufacture of France from 1995 to 2005. Overall the most developed kind of production the energy in 1995 to 2005 was a coal. The lower way was the "Nuclear " and others. With regard to positive feedback the proportion of production of France was "Coal" there are 29, 80 per cent in 1995 and 30. 93% in 2005. Furthermore the production of "Gas" also developed it is nearly less than a third. As is shown in the illustration the smallest amount of energy in 1995 was the "other " also productions in 2005 too. The changes of "Petro" one in tenth.
The
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given
pie chars present information about the amount of energy manufacture of France from 1995 to 2005.
Overall
the most developed kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
the energy in 1995 to 2005 was a coal. The lower way was the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Nuclear
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. With regard to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of France was
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Coal
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"
there are 29, 80 per cent in 1995 and 30. 93% in 2005.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Gas
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
also
developed it is
nearly
less than a third.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
is shown
in the illustration the smallest amount of energy in 1995 was the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
other
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productions
in 2005 too. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Petro
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
one in tenth.

IELTS academic Pie chars. Comparison of energy production.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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