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The percentage of female school_leavers going into higher education is demonstrated as a bar chart.

The percentage of female school_leavers going into higher education is demonstrated as a bar chart. Wyaea
The percentage of woman alumnus having decided to continue their education into higher levels in several regions; including, the UK, the USA, Canada, Japan and Germany in 1970 and 2005 has been illustrated as a bar chart. Overall, excluding Canada and Germany, there is a substantial increase in all the mentioned countries during 1970 to 2005. The percentage of ladies having chosen to educate in upper degrees was never more than about 60 percent in both 1970 and 2005. on the other hand, the amount of women having decided to continue their education into higher levels was not under 20 percent neither in 1970 nor in 2005. The largest rise was for the UK, around 25 percent, while, the number was stable in Canada. In Japan the percentage of girls going into higher education in 2005 was twice as many as in 1970 and the figure reached to almost 40 percent in a thirty-four-year period. The proportion of gratuated girls having decided to go to university was greater in Germany than USA in 1970, however, both Germany and USA had approximately the same percentage of female studing in higher degrees thirty-four years after.
The
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percentage
of woman alumnus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
decided to continue their education into higher levels in several regions; including, the UK, the USA, Canada, Japan and Germany in 1970 and 2005 has
been illustrated
as a bar chart.

Overall
, excluding Canada and Germany, there is a substantial increase in all the mentioned countries during 1970 to 2005. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of ladies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
chosen to educate in upper degrees was never more than about 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in both 1970 and 2005.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, the amount of women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
decided to continue their education into higher levels was not under 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
neither in 1970 nor in 2005.

The largest rise was for the UK, around 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, while, the number was stable in Canada. In Japan the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of girls going into higher education in 2005 was twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as in 1970 and the figure reached to almost 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in a thirty-four-year period. The proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
gratuated
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
decided to go to university was greater in Germany
A determiner is probably missing here: "than the USA".
than USA
in 1970,
however
, both Germany and USA had approximately the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of female
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
in higher degrees thirty-four years after.
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IELTS academic The percentage of female school_leavers going into higher education is demonstrated as a bar chart.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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