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the percentage of adults who are overweight or obese between 1965 and 2015

the percentage of adults who are overweight or obese between 1965 and 2015 66Ol8
The bar chart displays the percentage of adults who are overweight or obese between 1965 and 2015 while the pie chart illustrates the proportion of weight of adult population in 2015. We can see that the percentage of overweight or obese adults grew during this period, and the largest group is obese in 2015. The bar chart illustrates that the percentage of overweight or too fat people were just under 50% in 1965, 1975, and 1985. After the decades, the trend of this group significantly grew and there have been a steady increased from 2005 to 2015. In 2015, the bar chart shows the highest of percentage of overweight people, which was approximately 80%. In 2015, the data of weight of adult population was divided into four categories which were underweight, overweight, obese, and severely obese. The largest category is obese, which was 34% while the overweight and underweight were not much different, which were at 31% and 29%, respectively. The smallest group was dangerously obese, at 6%.
The bar
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chart
displays the
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percentage
of
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adults
who are
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overweight
or
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obese
between 1965 and 2015 while the pie
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chart
illustrates the proportion of weight of adult population in 2015. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
or
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obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
grew during this period, and the largest group is
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obese
in 2015.

The bar
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chart
illustrates that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
or too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50% in 1965, 1975, and 1985. After the decades, the trend of this group
significantly
grew and there have been a steady increased from 2005 to 2015. In 2015, the bar
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the highest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which was approximately 80%.

In 2015, the data of weight of adult population
was divided
into four categories which were underweight,
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overweight
,
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obese
, and
severely
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obese
. The largest category is
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obese
, which was 34% while the
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overweight
and underweight were not much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, which were at 31% and 29%,
respectively
. The smallest group was
dangerously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obese
, at 6%.
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IELTS academic the percentage of adults who are overweight or obese between 1965 and 2015

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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