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Pie charts showings the expenses in a school from 1981 to 2001

Pie charts showings the expenses in a school from 1981 to 2001 66Oy0

The three pie charts illustrates the expenditure of a school in UK from 1981 to 2001. Overall, the school spends largely on teachers salary and least spend is the insurance. Furniture and Equipment, Resources and other workers salaries have dramatic changes in the expenditure over the time period. Units are measured in percentages. In 1981, 40% of the expenses were dedicated for teachers salaries and it rose by 10% in the year 1991. The money spend on furniture and equipment was 15% where it has decline to 5% and then rose to 23% in 2001. Other workers salaries have also dramatically crashed from 1981 to 2001 (28% to 23% respectively). Expenditure on the resources like books were 15% initially which rose by 5% in 1991, and it has become halved in 2001. There has been significant increase in the insurance expenditure from 1981 to 2001 with 2% and 8% respectively.

The three pie charts illustrates the expenditure of a school in UK from 1981 to 2001.

Overall
, the school spends largely
 on teachers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salary
 and least spend is the insurance. Furniture and Equipment, Resources and other workers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
 have dramatic This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :altersadjusts
changes
 in the expenditure over the time period. Units are measured
 in percentages.

In 1981, 40% of the expenses were dedicated
 for teachers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
 and it rose by 10% in the year 1991. The money Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "spends".spends
spend
 on furniture and equipment was 15% where it has decline to 5% and then rose to 23% in 2001. Other workers You use this word too often, consider replacing it withwagefeepaystipendearningsincome
salaries
 have also
dramatically
 crashed from 1981 to 2001 (28% to 23% respectively
).

Expenditure on the resources like books were 15% initially
 which rose by 5% in 1991, and it has become halved in 2001. There has been significant increase in the insurance expenditure from 1981 to 2001 with 2% and 8% respectively
. 

IELTS academic Pie charts showings the expenses in a school from 1981 to 2001

Academic

American English

4 paragraphs

150 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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