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Number of full/time education

Number of full/time education gG01a
The bar chart shows the number of male and female who had a full-time education or part-time education dring the time period between 1970 and 1990. The peak for males in part-time education was 1 million in the years 1970/71 whereas the full-time education for males was massively lower with 100 thousand in the same year. The highest number for females having a part-time education was reached in the year 1990/91 with 1. 1 Million although the number of full-time eduaction for females was significantly lower in the same year. More females were having a part-time education in the next following 10 years. For both males and females the number of full-time education increased in the next following 10 years until both of them reached the exact same number of 200 thousand in the years 1990/91. For females receiving part-time education grew from the years 1970/71 to 1990/91 from 750 thousand to 1. 1 million by 350 thousand female students. Males as well as females had the same amount of students having full-time education with 200 thousand.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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number
of male and
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female
who had a full-time
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education
or part-time
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education
Possible spelling mistake found.
dring
the time period between 1970 and 1990. The peak for
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males
in part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was 1 million in the years 1970/71 whereas the full-time
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education
for
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males
was
massively
lower with 100 thousand in the same
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year
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
highest
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number
for
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females
having a part-time
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education
was reached
in the
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year
1990/91 with 1. 1 Million although the
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number
of full-time
Possible spelling mistake found.
eduaction
for
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females
was
significantly
lower in the same
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year
. More
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females
were having a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
next
following 10 years. For both
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males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
increased in the
next
following 10 years until both of them reached the exact same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 200 thousand in the years 1990/91. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
receiving part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
grew from the years 1970/71 to 1990/91 from 750 thousand to 1. 1 million by 350 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students.
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Males
as well
as
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females
had the same amount of students having full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with 200 thousand.
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IELTS academic Number of full/time education

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
177 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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