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The number of tuna caught near Westhaven

The number of tuna caught near Westhaven 9B7gn
Overall trends: - The number of tuna caught near Westhaven moderately increased from 2008-2011. - On the other hand, during the period of 3 years, the number of swordfish fluctuated. Similarly, the amount of fishing boats used changed unusually. - Generally, the quantity of fishing boats that were utilized didn't influence the quantity of fish which were gotten. However, it seemed to influence the quantity of swordfish. When there were more boats, more swordfish were gotten. Main features: - The numbers of tuna(110. 000), swordfish(100. 000)and boats(70) peaked in 2011. - The amount of tuna(75. 000) and swordfish(65. 000) were at their lowest in 2008. Meanwhile, the number of boats used were at the lowest figure in 2010 ( 45 boats). - Generally, there was a remarkably difference between the amount of tuna and swordfish. The number of tuna was commonly greater than the swordfish, except in 2009. - At first, the number of tuna fish rose dramatically from 85. 000 in 2009 to the peaked figure at 110. 000 in 2011. - In contrast, the swordfish caught was totally shown a fluctuated trend. The number of swordfish caught rose to 95. 000 in 2009 and went down to 70. 000 fish in 2010. The number of swordfish then climbed again to reach about 100. 000 in 2011. - On the other hand, numbers of fishing boats operated in 2008 were 50 boats. After that, in 2009, they rose to 55 and fell to approximately 45. The highest number of boats happened in 2011, 70 on average.
Overall
trends:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
caught near
Possible spelling mistake found.
Westhaven
moderately
increased from 2008-2011.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
On the other hand
, during the period of 3 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of swordfish fluctuated.
Similarly
, the amount of fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
unusually
.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Generally
, the quantity of fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
that
were utilized
didn't influence the quantity of fish which
were gotten
.
However
, it seemed to influence the quantity of swordfish. When there were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
, more swordfish
were gotten
. Main features:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna(110
. 000), swordfish(100. 000)and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats(70)
peaked in 2011.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna(75
. 000) and swordfish(65. 000) were at their lowest in 2008. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
were at the lowest figure in 2010
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats)
.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Generally
, there was a
You used an adverb ('remarkably') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('difference') instead of another adjective.
remarkably difference
between the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
and swordfish. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
was
commonly
greater than the swordfish, except in 2009.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
At
first
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tuna
fish rose
dramatically
from 85. 000 in 2009 to the peaked figure at 110. 000 in 2011.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
In contrast
, the swordfish caught was
totally
shown a fluctuated trend. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of swordfish caught rose to 95. 000 in 2009 and went down to 70. 000 fish in 2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of swordfish then climbed again to reach about 100. 000 in 2011.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
operated in 2008 were 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
. After that, in 2009, they rose to 55 and fell to approximately 45. The highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boats
happened in 2011, 70 on average.
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IELTS academic The number of tuna caught near Westhaven

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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