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illustrates the monthly consumption of cell phone services and residential phone services during the peroid from 2001 to 2010

illustrates the monthly consumption of cell phone services and residential phone services during the peroid from 2001 to 2010 dpVwK
The line chart illustrates the monthly consumption of cell phone services and residential phone services during the peroid from 2001 to 2010 Generally, while cell phone services witnessed an upward trend, residental saw a downward trend. There are the same cost people sent for both services in 2006. In detail, in 2001 the average number of expenditures on cell phone device was about $200 and followed by significant increase all the time. This fingues got double higher than the first only after 3 years and peaked at the hightest in 2010 with about $750. Constrast to going up of cell phone usage, resident phone serves threw down half amount. In 2001, people use resident phone for nearly $700, followed by sharp plunge till the last period. The amount of people tent to use resident serves in 2010 was $400, making up half number of cell phone at this time. Interestingly, in 2006 cell phone services took possession of around $525, the same as its residental phone services
The line chart illustrates the monthly consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and residential
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
during the
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peroid
from 2001 to 2010

Generally
, while
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
witnessed an upward trend,
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a downward trend. There are the
Make sure that the adjective 'same' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'cost'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
same cost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for both
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services
in 2006.

In detail, in 2001 the average number of expenditures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
device was about $200 and followed by significant increase all the time. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
fingues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
double higher than the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after 3 years and peaked at the
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hightest
in 2010 with about $750.

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Constrast
to going up of
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage, resident
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phone
serves threw down half amount. In 2001,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
resident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for
nearly
$700, followed by sharp plunge till the last period. The amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
resident serves in 2010 was $400, making up half number of
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
at this time.

Interestingly
, in 2006
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
took possession of around $525, the same as its
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
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IELTS academic illustrates the monthly consumption of cell phone services and residential phone services during the peroid from 2001 to 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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