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The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist VPe5A
The graph provides the data concerning the number of enquiries, which were received by the Tourist Information Office in a certain city throughout 6 months in the year 2011. Overall, the number of enquiries, which were contacted through telephone and in person showed an upward trends, while the number of enquiries received through the letter or e-mail witnessed downward trend. In January, nearly 500 enquiries were received in Person which straightly grew to reach 800; additionally, it continued to rise significantly up to 1900eventually in June, becoming the highest number as compared to other types of enquiries. The number of requests received through telephone was about 900 in January, which dropped down by 100 in February, that later experienced a significantly surge to meet 1000 in both March and April. For the rest of the period, it witnessed a sudden increase from 1000 enquiries to 1400 enquiries in May, which continued to rise up to 1600 in June, which is the second highest after enquiries contacted in person. In contrast, the number of enquiries through letter or e-mail experienced a steady decline throughout the period. Enquiries by letter or e-mail began at nearly 800 in January, which gradually dropped to about 700 in March. It still kept declining steadily to reach nearly 400 in May and June, which is the lowest number of enquiries among three types.
The graph provides the data concerning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
, which were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
by the Tourist Information Office in a certain city throughout 6 months in the year 2011.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
, which
were contacted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
telephone and in person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trends, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the letter or e-mail witnessed downward trend. In January,
nearly
500
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
in Person which
straightly
grew to reach 800;
additionally
, it continued to rise
significantly
up to
1900eventually
in June, becoming the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
as compared to other types of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of requests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
telephone was

about 900 in January, which
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
by 100 in February, that later experienced a
You used an adverb ('significantly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('surge') instead of another adjective.
significantly surge
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
1000 in both March and April. For the rest of the period, it witnessed a sudden increase from 1000
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
to 1400
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
in May, which continued to rise up to 1600 in June, which is the second highest after
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
contacted in person.

In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
letter or e-mail experienced a steady decline throughout the period.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Enquiries' is British English.
Enquiries
by letter or e-mail began at
nearly
800 in January, which
gradually
dropped to about 700 in March. It
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
declining
steadily
to reach
nearly
400 in May and June, which is the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
among three types.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the tourist

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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