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Summarise the information and make comparisons where relevant

Summarise the information and make comparisons where relevant q1dxP
The bar chart above shows how many men and women exercised in 2010 in Australia. Units of measurement are percentages of the whole population and the graph is divided into five distinct age groups. Overall, it is evident that in most age groups, women worked out more than men and also the frequency of their workouts increased as they got older. Men exercised the most while they were still young adults (53%). This number was lower for those aged 25 to 34 (42%) and even lower for men in the age group 35 to 44 (40%). As they started becoming more senior, they also started working out a bit more. 43% of men aged 45 to 54 performed regular workouts and for those who were 55 and over this number was even higher (45%). Women, on the other hand, exercised less than men only when they were in the age group of 15 to 24 (47%). This number grew slightly for women aged 25 to 34 (49%) and surged to 52% for those in the age group 35 to 44. More than half of the women aged 45 to 64 engaged in some sort of physical activity (53%) whilst this figure plummeted to 47% for those who were 65 and over.
The bar chart above
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shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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men
and
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women
exercised in 2010 in Australia. Units of measurement are percentages of the whole population and the graph
is divided
into five distinct
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age
groups.

Overall
, it is evident that in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
worked out more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
also
the frequency of their workouts increased as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
older.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
exercised the most while they were
still
young adults (53%). This number was lower for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
25 to 34 (42%) and even lower for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
35 to 44 (40%). As they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
becoming more senior, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working out a bit more. 43% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
45 to 54 performed regular workouts and for those who were 55 and over this number was even higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(45%). Women
,
on the other hand
, exercised less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they were in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 15 to 24 (47%). This number grew
slightly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
25 to 34 (49%) and surged to 52% for those in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
35 to 44. More than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
45 to 64 engaged in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of physical activity (53%) whilst this figure plummeted to 47% for those who were 65 and over.
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IELTS academic Summarise the information and make comparisons where relevant

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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