Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The number of people visiting to two music website

The number of people visiting to two music website 73Ran
The line graph describes how many people visited to Music Choiceand Pop Parade from Day1 to Day15 in 2018. Overall, it can be seen that the number of visitors going to Pop Parade and Music Choice increased considerably. Firstly, there was dramatic decline from 110 000 to 40 000 visitors visiting Pop Parade from Day1 to Day7. Then the number of people who went here stay steady in the next two day. The period of Day9 from Day 15 observed a wild fluctuation in that number and the trend was upward from 40000 to about 150 000 society. That number reached a peak of175000 in Day 15. On the other hand, people going to Music choice witnessed fluctuated but the trend was downward in the first 11 days followed by a period of increase in four days later. The number of visitors was from 30000 in day11 to 60000 in day15. The highest visitors of Music choice was over 120000 in day 14.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
Possible spelling mistake found.
Choiceand
Pop Parade from Day1 to Day15 in 2018.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
going to Pop Parade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
Choice increased
considerably
.
Firstly
, there was dramatic decline from 110 000 to 40 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
visiting Pop Parade from Day1 to Day7. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who went here stay steady in the
next
two day. The period of Day9 from Day 15 observed a wild fluctuation in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
and the trend was upward from 40000 to about 150 000 society. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
reached a peak of175000 in Day 15.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
choice witnessed fluctuated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the trend was downward in the
first
11 days followed by a period of increase in four days later. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was from 30000 in day11 to 60000 in day15. The highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
choice was over 120000 in day 14.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The number of people visiting to two music website

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    Overall, this is clear that having a degree is useful in discovery employment as more graduates than recent graduates are out of work.
    The line graph compares the percentage of unemployed recent graduates and young non-graduates in the age group 21-30 in the period from 1990 to 2015. Generally, most of the changes occurred in the middle years of the graph chart, with progressive variation until we reached a proportion equal to 199...
  • 6.5band
    changes in the school in 2024
    The first diagram shows a map of a school site in 2004, however the other one shows the planned changes of the same site school in 2024. In Overall view, the planned features show a new road, car park, more students to be admitted and changes in the sports field location. The planned future of the ...
  • 6band
    The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.
    The bar graph shows the export earnings of a country under various categories between 2015 and 2016. Overall, it can be observed from the bar graph that engineered goods and petroleum products are the highest exported articles in both the years. In 2015, the export of petroleum products was highest...
  • 5.5band
    wastes treatment in 2 different countries
    The given pie charts show the percentage recycling, Incineration, underground burry, chemical treatment, and sea dumping done in 3 different countries including Republic of Korea, Sweden, and UK. In over all view, underground burying is done in all 3 countries, and hugely practiced in the UK, howeve...
  • 6.5band
    The two maps compare the change of a community center in the past and present.
    Presented are two maps depicting the change in the layout of a community center from the past to now. As transparent from the maps, the function of the facility is simplified with a number of areas being demolished and erected. In the past, the community center could be reached by the entrance in ...
  • 6band
    developments in Raymond Village
    The diagrams illustrate the developments that have taken place in Raymond Village over the last 26 years. As an overall perspective, residential areas are expanded in the north-west and south of the village. In addition, in the north-east a majority of lands have altered into recreational areas. Som...





Get more results for topic:
  • The number of people visiting to two music website