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wastes treatment in 2 different countries

wastes treatment in 2 different countries JwGLE
The given pie charts show the percentage recycling, Incineration, underground burry, chemical treatment, and sea dumping done in 3 different countries including Republic of Korea, Sweden, and UK. In over all view, underground burying is done in all 3 countries, and hugely practiced in the UK, however sea dumping, and chemical treatment is only seen on the UK, on the other hand recycling is highly performed in Korea, to a lesser extent in Sweden, and not done in UK. Recycling is the most used way of treating wastes in Korea with 69 percent, which is higher than burying, and incineration with 22, and 9 percent respectively. However Sweden buries 55 percent of it wastes, incinerate 20 percent, and recycle 25 percent of them. On the inverse trend, 8 percent of the wastes are treated by chemicals, and dumped in the sea each in the UK, which is greater than that incinerated with 2 percent, where as the most used method is burying where 82 percent of wastes is buried in the UK.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the percentage recycling, Incineration, underground
Possible spelling mistake found.
burry
, chemical treatment, and sea dumping done in 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries including Republic of Korea, Sweden, and UK. In over all view, underground burying
is done
in all 3 countries, and
hugely
practiced in the UK,
however
sea dumping, and chemical treatment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the UK,
on the other hand
recycling is
highly
performed in Korea, to a lesser extent in Sweden, and not done in UK. Recycling is the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
way of treating
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wastes
in Korea with 69
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percent
, which is higher than burying, and incineration with 22, and 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Sweden buries 55
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percent
of it
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wastes
, incinerate 20
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percent
, and recycle 25
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percent
of them.

On the inverse trend, 8
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percent
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
are treated
by chemicals, and dumped in the sea each in the UK, which is greater than that incinerated with 2
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percent
,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
method is burying where 82
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
is buried
in the UK.
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IELTS academic wastes treatment in 2 different countries

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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