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Overall, this is clear that having a degree is useful in discovery employment as more graduates than recent graduates are out of work.

Overall, this is clear that having a degree is useful in discovery employment as more graduates than recent graduates are out of work. wONnE
The line graph compares the percentage of unemployed recent graduates and young non-graduates in the age group 21-30 in the period from 1990 to 2015. Generally, most of the changes occurred in the middle years of the graph chart, with progressive variation until we reached a proportion equal to 1990 in 2015. In the initial years, between 1990 and 1995, the percentage of jobless in both groups gradually dropped. By contrast, the chart has risen sharply in recent years, from 2010 to 2015, yet unemployed recent grads would account for approximately 10% of the total, while unemployed young non-graduates were considered for less than a fifth of the total. Furthermore, there was a sharp drop in both categories of recent graduates and young non-graduates between 1995 and 2000, resulting in a small number of jobless recent graduates and non-graduates. In the other perspective, the percentage of jobless recent graduates stayed constant between 2000 and 2010. In the opposing group, however, there was a modest decrease between 2000 and 2005. Nevertheless, the proportion of young non-graduates increased rapidly between 2005 and 2010.
The line graph compares the percentage of unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
non-graduates in the age group 21-30 in the period from 1990 to 2015.

Generally
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
occurred in the middle years of the graph chart, with progressive variation until we reached a proportion equal to 1990 in 2015.

In the initial years, between 1990 and 1995, the percentage of jobless in both groups
gradually
dropped. By contrast, the chart has risen
sharply
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
years, from 2010 to 2015,
yet
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
grads would account for approximately 10% of the total, while unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
non-graduates
were considered
for less than a fifth of the total.
Furthermore
, there was a sharp drop in both categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
non-graduates between 1995 and 2000, resulting in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and non-graduates.
The usual preposition for "perspective" is "from" not "in." "from the other perspective".
In the other perspective
, the percentage of jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
stayed constant between 2000 and 2010. In the opposing group,
however
, there was a modest decrease between 2000 and 2005.
Nevertheless
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
non-graduates increased
rapidly
between 2005 and 2010.

IELTS academic Overall, this is clear that having a degree is useful in discovery employment as more graduates than recent graduates are out of work.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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