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the number of gym membership in men and women

the number of gym membership in men and women aEKm7
The graph provides information about the number of gym membership in men and women over a 30 year period between 1980 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that there was marked fluctuation in the number of both gender. This figure is given in thousands. the number of gym membership in male had a greater fluctuation at approximately 4 between 1980 to the early 2000s and reach a peach at just 5 in 2005. Then, it plunged to just below 1 in 2010. In the one hand, the trend in female membership had also fluctuated significantly between exactly 1 and just below 3 from 1980 to 2010. To compare with the number of gym membership, male had more number of people than female around 2 to 4 between 1980 and 1992 and around just over 2 and 5 between 2000 and the late 2000s. However, the number of women had noticeably more than men between 2 and 3 in the mid 1990s.
The graph provides information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "30-year"
30 year
period between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there
was marked
fluctuation in the
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number
of both gender. This figure is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in thousands.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
in male had a greater fluctuation at approximately 4 between 1980 to the early 2000s and reach a peach at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5 in 2005. Then, it plunged to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 1 in 2010. In the one hand, the trend in female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
had
also
fluctuated
significantly
between exactly 1 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 3 from 1980 to 2010. To compare with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of gym
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membership
, male had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than female around 2 to 4 between 1980 and 1992 and around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 2 and 5 between 2000 and the late 2000s.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women had
noticeably
more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
between 2 and 3 in the mid 1990s.
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IELTS academic the number of gym membership in men and women

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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