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The graph provides information about the transformation trends of using modern technology tools in homes in the UK from 1994 to 2008.

The graph provides information about the transformation trends of using modern technology tools in homes in the UK from 1994 to 2008. xg1qg
The line graph indicates information about the transformation trends of using modern technology tools in home in the UK from 1994 to 2008. Overall, It is clear that all lines witness an upward pattern. In addition, although the CD player was invented firstly, the DVD Player had the highest number at the end of the period. To begin with, the most striking increase belonged to DVD player. Particularly, payer DVD player rose sharply from about 30 to 80 % in 2005 before gradually increasing to nearly 90% in the end. Regarding to the Mobile phone, its number saw a steady climb by 10% between 1996 and 1998, and then it grew dramatically to just under 80% in 2004. Finally, this number leveled off in the final four-year. Also having an upward trend, the Internet connection started roughly 10%. the number saw noticeable rose to over 30% in 2000, after that there was a gradual increase to around 50 % at the end of the period. Turning to the CD player, from 1994 to 2005, its the percentage grew steadily to 80% and then it remain the same in the end.
The line graph indicates information about the transformation trends of using modern technology tools in home in the UK from 1994 to 2008.

Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that all lines witness an upward pattern.
In addition
, although the CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
was invented
firstly
, the DVD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Player
had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most striking increase belonged to DVD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
.
Particularly
, payer DVD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
rose
sharply
from about 30 to 80 % in 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
gradually
increasing to
nearly
90% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
the Mobile phone, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a steady climb by 10% between 1996 and 1998, and then it grew
dramatically
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 80% in 2004.
Finally
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
leveled off in the final four-year.
Also
having an upward trend, the Internet connection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
roughly 10%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
noticeable rose to over 30% in 2000, after that there was a gradual increase to around 50 % at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period. Turning to the CD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
, from 1994 to 2005,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the percentage grew
steadily
to 80% and then it
Did you mean "remains"?
remain
the same in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
.
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IELTS academic The graph provides information about the transformation trends of using modern technology tools in homes in the UK from 1994 to 2008.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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