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The number of collage student who go to sporting events. to

The number of collage student who go to sporting events. to nVG57
It is clear from the pie chart that 20% learner are gone on fun events. Similarly, 80% sports event are not attended by observer they are not ready for sports exhibition. Delving deeper, numerous playing festival visited by trainee group. First, match of football are attended by 34 male along with one female. Secondly basketball are attended by ten males and same number of females. Furthermore, four males amd five females are visited in the vollyball match. Moreover, in tennis ground are attended by males three and and twenty four females. Lastly, six male and three female are visited by badminton match. Overall, pie chart regarding play event are preferred by minimun mentee as well basketball event are attended by equal males and females.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the pie chart that 20% learner
are gone
on fun
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events
.
Similarly
, 80% sports
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event
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
by observer they are not ready for sports exhibition.

Delving deeper, numerous playing festival visited by trainee group.
First
, match of football are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
by 34 male along with one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
Secondly
basketball are
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attended
by ten
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males
and same number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
Furthermore
, four
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males
Possible spelling mistake found.
amd
five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are visited
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vollyball
match.
Moreover
, in tennis ground are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
three
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty four
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females
.
Lastly
, six male and three
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female
are visited
by badminton match.

Overall
, pie chart regarding play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
are preferred
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
minimun
mentee
as well
basketball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attended
by equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
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IELTS academic The number of collage student who go to sporting events. to

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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