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the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for future years.

the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for future years. xJlg
The graph illustrates the number of people migrating from rural to urban areas from 2000 to 2020 in three countries and their prediction for the next five years. Starting with Russia, the figures start from around 15 million which gradually increases to 40 million in 2010. This rises up to 70 million in 2015 ending with 80 million in 2020, predicted figures are to go higher. However in Iran the starting population is below 10 million, which rises to 35 million in 2010 and further rises up to 50 million in 2015. By 2020 it meets the Russian figures. A progressively small increment can be found in Indonesia where it starts from 10 million and meets the 30 million line in 2020 where the other two stays high above at 80 million at this period To take note about the future of movement from the rural to urban, Russia is expected to grow to 85 million in the next 5 years whereas Indonesia is expected to remain the same but Iran surpassing both would end up at 95 million in the 5 years to come.
The graph illustrates the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrating from rural to urban areas from 2000 to 2020 in three countries and their prediction for the
next
five years.

Starting with Russia, the figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from around 15
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million
which
gradually
increases to 40
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million
in 2010. This rises up to 70
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million
in 2015 ending with 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2020, predicted figures are to go higher.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in Iran the starting population is below 10
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million
, which rises to 35
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million
in 2010 and
further
rises up to 50
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million
in 2015. By 2020 it meets the Russian figures.

A
progressively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
increment can
be found
in Indonesia where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and meets the 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
line in 2020 where the other two stays high above at 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
at this period

To take note about the future of movement from the rural to urban, Russia is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to grow to 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the
next
5 years whereas Indonesia is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to remain the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Iran surpassing both would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up at 95
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the 5 years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
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IELTS academic the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for future years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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