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The maps show the development of Paradise Island between the past and present time

The maps show the development of Paradise Island between the past and present time VQjkD
The pictures illustrate the changes, which have taken place in Paradise Island between the past and current time. There have been several changes to the island. The most noticeable thing is there are various venues added to the island and the modification of some places. In the past, there is nothing at the middle of the island unless the trees where there are some entertainments added to the island's centre such as restaurant, BBQ area and café now. Looking to the West of the map, there is a scientific research station established in the past. However, over the years the building has been rebuild become a hotel with a swimming pool facility. At the North-West of the island, we can see a beach that hasn't been moved but are permitted to swim now, which was prohibited. The dock and the rocks remain in the same position but with some improvement of the pier which is getting bigger at the present time.
The pictures illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, which have taken place in Paradise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
between the past and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time.

There have been several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
. The most noticeable thing is there are various venues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
and the modification of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places.

In the past, there is nothing at the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
unless the trees where there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the island's
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
such as restaurant, BBQ area and café
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Looking to the West of the map, there is a scientific research station established in the past.
However
, over the years the building has been rebuild become a hotel with a swimming pool facility.

At the North-West of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a beach that hasn't been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are permitted
to swim
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, which
was prohibited
.

The dock and the rocks remain in the same position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
improvement of the pier which is getting bigger at the present time.

IELTS academic The maps show the development of Paradise Island between the past and present time

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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