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the maps show the changes in the town of somerville

the maps show the changes in the town of somerville o5pLV
The maps illustrate the transformation of Somerville’s town in a period of 10 years. Overall, more commercial buildings have been constructed in the town. After 10 years, the river, half of the main road and the second car park witness no changes in their position. 10 years ago, there were two parking lots, the first one was next to the river and the other was in the southeast of the town. However, the first car park was locked down to make room for the restaurants and the cafe. Moreover, the footpath was constructed alongside the river and the mainroad. Another change to the area was the addition of a new bookstore and several shops in the south of the town. Near the river, there were also two hostel being built. Regarding the main road, it was rerouted and now is parallel to the river then lead to the parking lot 2. One of the most noticeable feature is a golf course which was erected on the unused land of the right of the main road. Beside the aforementioned transformation, the river and the car park two still remain after 10 years.
The maps illustrate the transformation of Somerville’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
in a period of 10 years.

Overall
, more commercial buildings have
been constructed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. After 10 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, half of the main road and the second car park witness no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their position.

10 years ago, there were two parking lots, the
first
one was
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
and the other was in the southeast of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
However
, the
first
car park
was locked
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for the restaurants and the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
.
Moreover
, the footpath
was constructed
alongside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mainroad
. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the area was the addition of a new bookstore and several shops in the south of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. Near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, there were
also
two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hostel' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hostels".
hostel
being built
.

Regarding the main road, it
was rerouted
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is parallel to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
then lead to the parking lot 2. One of the most noticeable feature is a golf course which
was erected
on the unused land of the right of the main road. Beside the aforementioned transformation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
and the car park two
still
remain after 10 years.
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IELTS academic the maps show the changes in the town of somerville

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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