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the maps show the changes in the town of langley during two periods 1910 ,1950

the maps show the changes in the town of langley during two periods 1910, 1950 x2EW1
The given maps illustrate the layout of the town Langley over the two different periods namely 1910, and 1950. Overall, there was a dramatic change in the infrastructure of the town. In the 1910, the houses were present in the both the side of Jordan Street. But now it was replaced and new flats were constructed on the West direction of town. Similarly, in the ahead of the Sherman Street, there was residential area and cafe for the enjoyment of masses which were after replaced by making Sherman Park to the South direction and this included a small area for children's activities.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
maps illustrate the layout of the town Langley over the two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
periods
namely
1910, and 1950.

Overall
, there was a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the infrastructure of the town. In the 1910, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were present in the both the side of Jordan Street.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it
was replaced
and new flats
were constructed
on the West direction of town.
Similarly
, in
The phrase 'the ahead of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the ahead of
the Sherman Street, there was residential area and
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for the enjoyment of masses which were after replaced by making Sherman Park to the South direction and this included a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area for children's activities.

IELTS academic the maps show the changes in the town of langley during two periods 1910, 1950

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
102 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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