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The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site.

The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site. KM5L
The renovation of a coal mine and its change into a visitor attraction is shown on the maps. Overall, considerable changes have been made to turn the coal mine into a tourist attraction, with some additions while some things have stayed similar. Significant changes have occurred during the change of a Coal mine into a tourist site, on the East side a walking track was added along with a children’s playground. Furthermore, the waste site 2 has become a pond while waste site 1 has been reconverted into a driving circuit. Meanwhile the west side of the Coal mine has undergone refurbishment, with the transition of staff change rooms, medical center developing into a Café and lunch room becoming the museum. Despite these changes some essential points have not changed significantly, with the Mine entrance site becoming the tourist entrance site and where once was a lorry car park is now a Car park.
The renovation of a coal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mine
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
into a visitor attraction
is shown
on the maps.

Overall
, considerable
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changes
have
been made
to turn the coal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mine
into a tourist attraction, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additions while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things have stayed similar.

Significant
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changes
have occurred during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
of a Coal
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mine
into a tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
, on the East side a walking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
along with a children’s playground.
Furthermore
, the waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
2 has become a pond while waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
1 has
been reconverted
into a driving circuit.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the west side of the Coal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mine
has undergone refurbishment, with the transition of staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
rooms, medical center developing into a Café and lunch room becoming the museum. Despite these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential points have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mine
entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
becoming the tourist entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
and where once was a lorry car park is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a Car park.

IELTS academic The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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