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The map shows about lakeside changes in 2000 and 2009.

The map shows about lakeside changes in 2000 and 2009. Blrj6
The map provides information about lakeside altered between 2000 and 2009. Overall, it is crystal clear that, through out the time period, the area had witnessed with big changes. Many facilities were introduced such as university and offices whereas the few were disappeared. Looking at the map in detail, In 2000, there was a arts center and residential area, which can be seen in the northwest side. Next to the residential area, derelict warehouse and old town situated. likewise, in the front of the art center, there was a school. Followed by southeast side, there was a one more residential area and also industrial complex located. River was attached with lake which was passing in the centre of the buildings and it also covered with woodland area. Meanwhile, In 2009, many changes can be seen, in West side, residential area remained same their place but art center replaced into multi screen cinema. Old town divided into two halves and there was constructed a university and offices. Similarly, derelict warehouse modified and after 9 years, there was a new car park built. In the northern corner, woodland erected into small part in order to make enlarged industrial complex. Now, River is linked with pond instead of lake.
The map provides information about lakeside altered between 2000 and 2009.

Overall
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that,
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the time period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
had witnessed with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
facilities
were introduced
such as university and offices whereas the few
were disappeared
.

Looking at the map in detail, In 2000,
Did you mean "there were a arts"?
there was a arts
center and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the northwest side.
Next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, derelict warehouse and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
town situated.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likewise
, in the front of the art center, there was a school. Followed by southeast side, there was a one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
also
industrial complex located. River
was attached
with lake which was passing in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the buildings and it
also
covered with woodland area.

Meanwhile, In 2009,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in West side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
remained same their place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
art center replaced into multi screen cinema.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
town divided into two halves and there
was constructed
a university and offices.
Similarly
, derelict warehouse modified and after 9 years, there was a new car park built. In the northern corner, woodland erected into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
enlarged industrial complex.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, River
is linked
with pond
instead
of lake.
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IELTS academic The map shows about lakeside changes in 2000 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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