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The graph gives information about annual consumption of energy per person in two years, 1990 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about annual consumption of energy per person in two years, 1990 and 2008. GNBqm
The visual compares the yield of yearly consumption of energy per person in years 1990 & 2008 in 8 significant countries. We can see that the annual energy consumption varied in different countries with the vertical axis denoting the volume of energy consumed in kilowatt hours and the horizontal axis representing the notable consumer countries. We can see significant differences among the data. The quantity of consumed energy varied from 85 kilowatt hours at highest to about 5 kilowatt hours at lowest. It is seen that USA remained the leading consumer in both the years, consuming about 85-90 kilowatt hours while India using the lowest amount, about 3-5 kilowatt hours. The level of usage of energy of USA remained static in both the years. However, differences in utilisation of energy is detected in other countries. The consumption rate of energy by Middle East was significantly higher in 1990 (20 kilowatt hours) to that of in 2008 (35 kilowatt hours). On the other hand, China consumed marginally higher from 1990 (5 kilowatt hours) to 2008 (10 kilowatt hours). The countries like European Union maintained a stable consumption in both years which is about 40 kilowatt hours. Similarly Africa & Latin America differed marginally in consumption in both years but still holds lower position than the top rated country USA.
The visual compares the yield of yearly
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consumption
of
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energy
per person in years 1990 & 2008 in 8 significant
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countries
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the annual
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energy
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consumption
varied in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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countries
with the vertical axis denoting the volume of
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energy
consumed in
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kilowatt
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hours
and the horizontal axis representing the notable consumer countries.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
significant differences among the data. The quantity of consumed
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energy
varied from 85
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kilowatt
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hours
at highest to about 5
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kilowatt
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hours
at lowest. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that USA remained the leading consumer in both the years, consuming about 85-90
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kilowatt
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hours
while India using the lowest amount, about 3-5
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kilowatt
hours.

The level of usage of
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energy
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
remained static in both the years.
However
, differences in
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of
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energy
is detected
in other
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countries
. The
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consumption
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
A determiner is probably missing here: "by the Middle East".
by Middle East
was
significantly
higher in 1990 (20
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kilowatt
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hours)
to that of in 2008 (35
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kilowatt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours)
.
On the other hand
, China consumed
marginally
higher
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1990 to 5"?
from 1990 (5
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kilowatt
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hours)
to 2008 (10
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kilowatt
hours).

The
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countries
like European Union maintained a stable
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consumption
in both years which is about 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kilowatt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
Africa & Latin America differed
marginally
in
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consumption
in both years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
holds lower position than the top rated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
USA.
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about annual consumption of energy per person in two years, 1990 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph gives information about annual consumption of energy per person in two years, 1990 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.