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The map below shows the alterations done at town called eastminister.

The map below shows the alterations done at town called eastminister. JAkk
The rendered map an illustrates the various changes done in eastminister town between 1999 and 2009. To begin with, the river is divided the town in two sections that was north- west and south- east. In immediate south direction school is located and it's area expanded for shopping complex and school shifted in north- west side of the river. Further, the hospital was left side of the school and it remain untouched. Moreover, the shops are north side of the school and it remained in 2009. In the east of shops streets of houses and public gardens are reduced and built apartment blocks and houses and in the south new factories and warehouses are added. However, the railway station in the south of shops are remained. Probing further, in the south of the river large house with gardens are replaced by hotel with golf course and area of park which was locate uppar side of the large house is expanded. Further, the place of house in south of river is extended during 2009. Whereas, the woodland to the left of the houses is demolished for adventure park in 2009.
The rendered map an illustrates the various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
done in
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eastminister
town between 1999 and 2009. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
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river
is divided
the town in two sections that was north- west and south- east. In immediate south direction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is located
and it's area expanded for shopping complex and
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school
shifted in north- west side of the
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river
.
Further
, the hospital was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and it
Did you mean "remains"?
remain
untouched.
Moreover
, the shops are north side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and it remained in 2009. In the east of shops streets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and public gardens are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and built apartment blocks and
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houses
and in the south new factories and warehouses are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.
However
, the railway station in the south of shops
are remained
. Probing
further
, in the south of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
large
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house
with gardens
are replaced
by hotel with golf course and area of park which was
Consider using a past participle here: "located".
locate
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uppar
side of the large
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house
is expanded
.
Further
, the place of
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house
in south of
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river
is extended
during 2009. Whereas, the woodland to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
is demolished
for adventure park in 2009.
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IELTS academic The map below shows the alterations done at town called eastminister.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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