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The map below shows a plan proposed for a particular town.

The map below shows a plan proposed for a particular town. E7poR
The map demonstrates the future layout of a certain town. Overall, the central area of the town is designated to be a parking location, and it is planned to be surrounded with different housing, recreational and industrial establishments in a rectangular shape. The square zone right in the middle of the town is going to be a place for parking and a bus stance with four ways of access from all sides, and this parking space will be surrounded by residential buildings with a few recreational areas in the eastern and southern parts. This whole central area is going to be circular because of the ring roads separating the heart of the town from its outskirts. There will not be an access to this rectangular town only from the east, yet it can be entered via seven roads which link its other sides and corners to the ring roads. While its south-eastern and north-western parts are aimed for industry, accommodation buildings are planned to be established on the rest of the extremities.
The map demonstrates the future layout of a certain town.

Overall
, the central area of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is designated
to be a parking location, and it
is planned
to
be surrounded
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
housing, recreational and industrial establishments in a rectangular shape.

The square zone right in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is going to be a place for parking and a bus stance with four ways of access from all sides, and this parking space will
be surrounded
by residential buildings with a few recreational areas in the eastern and southern parts. This whole central area is going to be circular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the ring roads separating the heart of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
from its outskirts.

There will not be
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to this rectangular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from the east,
yet
it can
be entered
via seven roads which link its other sides and corners to the ring roads. While its south-eastern and north-western parts
are aimed
for industry, accommodation buildings
are planned
to
be established
on the rest of the extremities.
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IELTS academic The map below shows a plan proposed for a particular town.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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