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The map below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010.

The map below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010. 5ome
The maps indicate several significant changes in Stokeford village during a period of 80 years. Overall, it is noticeable that the the number of houses increased dramatically, while the lands for agricultural purposes vanished. In 1930, there were a few houses on both sides of the only road which ran through the middle of the village of Stokeford. By 2010, the local shops had disappeared and only the Post Office remained. (*) The two areas of farmland to the north-east and south-west of the + Để tìm hiểu thông tin về khóa học, bộ sách mới nhất của thầy Bách, các bạn truy cập: www. ngocbach. com 156 village were converted into residential areas. Over the same period, more streets were built, leading off the main road to give access to additional housing. Housing was also extended along the main road. In addition, the local primary school opposite the Post Office was enlarged with 2 new blocks. Gardens formed the centre of the village in 1930, but by 2010 more houses had been built on this site and the large house within the grounds was extended to become a retirement home.
The maps indicate several significant
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changes
in
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Stokeford
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village
during a period of 80

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years
.

Overall
, it is noticeable that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
increased
dramatically
, while the lands

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
agricultural purposes vanished.

In 1930, there were a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
on both sides of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
road which ran through the middle

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
the
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village
of
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Stokeford
. By 2010, the local shops had disappeared and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Post


Office remained. (*) The two areas of farmland to the north-east and south-west of the +
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Để
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tìm
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hiểu
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thông
tin
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về
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khóa
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học
,
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bộ
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sách
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mới
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nhất
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của
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thầy
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Bách
,

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các
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bạn
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truy
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cập
:
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www
.
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ngocbach
.
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com
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156 village
were converted
into residential areas. Over the same period, more streets
were built
,

leading off the main road to give access to additional housing. Housing was
also
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
extended


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
along
the main road.

In addition
, the local primary school opposite the Post Office
was enlarged
with 2 new

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
blocks
. Gardens formed the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the
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village
in 1930,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by 2010 more
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houses
had
been built
on this site and the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
within the grounds
was extended
to become a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
retirement


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
home
.
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IELTS academic The map below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
13 paragraphs
191 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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