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The maintenance of public libraries because of computer technologies is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function.

The maintenance of public libraries because of computer technologies is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function. 9wqox
In today's globalization era, Technologies are developing increasingly than in the past times. Some people prefer a service of libraries instead of computer services. But others agree that the work of technologies. It is totally disagreed that work of public libraries does not waste money. Analysing both benefits of public libraries and a different service between technological devices and public libraries will show this disagreement. Firstly, people who go to the public libraries like to read books a lot. Moreover, these kinds of peaceful places suit to concentrate their mind. To give an example, it is commonly understood that most people can think there clearly or read books. Thus, this makes it clear why people prefer to attend there without caring the prices. Secondly, at present, technologies are developing day by day. Furthermore, their services are being easier and easier to find out everything that what you want, while it is not comfortable to read a book. Because, technological devices spread dangerous light that affects people's eye vision and their eyes get tired quickly. For instance, We need to pay money to access the internet, also pay to enter the libraries. Besides, there has no the difference between the charge of public libraries and computer technologies. Thus, they are not a waste of money, whilst reading books shape the mind, behavior and the morals of people. Taking everything into consideration, Money is being spent for public libraries, but it is not wasting money. After analysing these subjects, it is predicted that the negative sides of debate over the cost of public libraries and digital technologies will forever be stronger than the positive ones and because of this, people always get different circumstances. Sometimes, they don't have money to pay and enter the libraries. Nevertheless, technologies are paid to enter the internet services.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's globalization era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technologies
are developing
Use "(increasingly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
increasingly
than in the past times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
of libraries
instead
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the work of technologies.

It is
totally
disagreed that work of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries does not waste money.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
both benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
between technological devices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
this disagreement.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries like to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
a lot.
Moreover
, these kinds of peaceful places suit to concentrate their mind. To give an example, it is
commonly
understood that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there
clearly
or read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to attend there without caring the prices.

Secondly
, at present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are developing day by day.
Furthermore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are being easier and easier to find out everything that what you want, while it is not comfortable to read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, technological devices spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
light that affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's eye vision and their eyes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired
quickly
.
For instance
, We need to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to access the internet,
also
pay to enter the libraries.
Besides
, there has
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
the difference between the charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
Thus
, they are not a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, whilst reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
shape the mind, behavior and the morals of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Taking everything into consideration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is
being spent
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
these subjects, it
is predicted
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of debate over the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries and digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
will forever be stronger than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones and
because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they don't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pay and enter the libraries.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are paid
to enter the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
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IELTS academic The maintenance of public libraries because of computer technologies is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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