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The main purpose of the bar chart is to provide information about the proportion of part-time employees in four various countries of the UK in the period from 1980 to 2010.

The main purpose of the bar chart is to provide information about the proportion of part-time employees in four various countries of the UK in the period from 1980 to 2010. XGVJE
The main purpose of the bar chart is to provide information about the proportion of part-time employees in four various countries of the UK in the period from 1980 to 2010. From an overall perspective, we can see that the rate of part-time workers experienced an increasing trend in all countries except Northern Ireland in the period given. It is readily apparent Wales witnessed the highest proportion of part-time employees in both years with just over 30% in 1980 and at around 35% in 2010, compared with other countries. The second-highest rate was in England in both years. The figure rose from approximately 25% in 1980 to just over 30% in 2010. Similarly, by 2010, the percentage of part-time workers had experienced a climbing movement and it reached 19% by a rise of about 8% in Scotland. Regarding the country of Northern Ireland, it is a noticeable fact that the proportion of part-time workers decreased marginally over the timescale. The figure for the country dwindled to around 13% in 2010 by a decrease of 2%.
The main purpose of the bar chart is to provide information about the proportion of part-time employees in four various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the UK in the period from 1980 to 2010.

From an
overall
perspective, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the rate of part-time workers experienced an increasing trend in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
except Northern Ireland in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

It is
readily
apparent Wales witnessed the highest proportion of part-time employees in both years with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 30% in 1980 and at around 35% in 2010, compared with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The second-highest rate was in England in both years. The figure rose from approximately 25% in 1980 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 30% in 2010.
Similarly
, by 2010, the percentage of part-time workers had experienced a climbing movement and it reached 19% by a rise of about 8% in Scotland.

Regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of Northern Ireland, it is a noticeable fact that the proportion of part-time workers decreased
marginally
over the timescale. The figure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
dwindled to around 13% in 2010 by a decrease of 2%.
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IELTS academic The main purpose of the bar chart is to provide information about the proportion of part-time employees in four various countries of the UK in the period from 1980 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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