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The given bar graph depicts information about the proportion of part- time employees in four particular nation ( England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales) of united kingdom both in 1980 and in 2010.

The given bar graph depicts information about the proportion of part- time employees in four particular nation ( England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales) of united kingdom both in 1980 and in 2010. wBade
The given bar graph depicts information about the proportion of part- time employees in four particular nation ( England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales) of united kingdom both in 1980 and in 2010. Data is calibrated in percentage. Overall, The data shows increseing trend from 1980 to 2010, except Northen Ireland. The graph also represent that England and wales have more part-time workers than Northen Ireland and Scotland. It is clear from the chart that in 1980, about 25% employees worked at part-time. But in 2010, it increased by five percent. While, Wales was the highest in part-time workers among the four, with around 33% worker in both time in 1980 and in 2010. Part time worker in Scotland rose up by around 10% in 1980 to 2010. However, The nation of Northern Ireland, it is a noticeable fact that proportion of part time workers decreased in 2010. The figure of the nation falls to around 13% in 2010 and around 15% in1980.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph depicts information about the proportion of part-
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time
employees in four particular nation
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales) of
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
united kingdom
both in 1980 and in 2010. Data
is calibrated
in percentage.

Overall
, The data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
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increseing
trend from 1980 to 2010, except
Possible spelling mistake found.
Northen
Ireland. The graph
also
represent that England and wales have more part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
than
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Northen
Ireland and Scotland.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that in 1980, about 25% employees worked at part-time.
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But
in 2010, it increased by five percent. While, Wales was the highest in part-time
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workers
among the four, with
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around
33%
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worker
in both
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time
in 1980 and in 2010. Part
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time
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worker
in Scotland rose up by
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around
10% in 1980 to 2010.

However
, The nation of Northern Ireland, it is a noticeable fact that proportion of part
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time
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workers
decreased in 2010. The figure of the nation falls to
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around
13% in 2010 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
15% in1980.
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IELTS academic The given bar graph depicts information about the proportion of part- time employees in four particular nation ( England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales) of united kingdom both in 1980 and in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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