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The list graph illustrates

The list graph illustrates J09Qa
The list depicts the portion of the students enroll themselves in four different secondary school variation in the year 2000 and 2009. It also reflects the traits and list of school. Firstly, In the year 2000, the maximum percentage is occupied by the voluntary-controlled schools which was at peak point in the year 2000. More than half of the people (52%) went there for their schooling. After that grammar schools were at second position having (24%) of pupils. Community and specialist school were not much famous and both were at equal rate (12%). On the another side, By the year 2005 here also voluntary-controlled schools were leading ahead. Here 38% of tutee enrolled them, after this community school were not having much difference in their percentage (11% and 19%). In addition to this, By the period of 2019, there was a vast difference there. Community schools was recommended and 58% of the students enrolled in this school. Only 20% of pupils rolled up them in voluntary schools. Specialist and Grammar schools were not much in demand, they were at low rate of 10% and 12%.
The list depicts the portion of the students enroll themselves in four
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different
secondary
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school
variation in the
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year
2000 and 2009. It
also
reflects the traits and list of
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school
.
Firstly
, In the
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year
2000, the maximum percentage
is occupied
by the voluntary-controlled
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schools
which was at peak point in the
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year
2000. More than half of the
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people
(52%) went there for their schooling.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that grammar
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schools
were at second position having (24%) of pupils. Community and specialist
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school
were not much
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famous
and both were at equal rate (12%). On the another side, By the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 here
also
voluntary-controlled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
were leading ahead. Here 38% of
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tutee
enrolled them, after this community
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school
were not having much difference in their percentage (11% and 19%).
In addition
to this, By the period of 2019, there was a vast difference there. Community
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schools
was recommended
and 58% of the students enrolled in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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Only
20% of pupils rolled up them in voluntary
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schools
. Specialist and Grammar
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schools
were not much in demand, they were at low rate of 10% and 12%.
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IELTS academic The list graph illustrates

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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