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The number of foreign tourists visiting X country in 2019 and 2020. Annual Income of various Business in X country in 2007 and 2008.

The number of foreign tourists visiting X country in 2019 and 2020. Annual Income of various Business in X country in 2007 and 2008. dkBWr
The bar diagram illustrates about how many overseas tourists had visited in X country from 2019 to 2020, over a one-year period in terms of thousands, whereas the table indicates the annual earnings of four different tourism industry in X country between 2007 and 2008. Overall, it is apparent from the first chart that the number of visitors in four various nations had experienced a downward trend thorughout the year, however the table evident that the income earned yearly by tourism industries showed a negative trend. To commence with number of a broad visitors, just over 2000000 pupils from Europe visited in X country in the first year which increased significantly to 1000000 in 2020. Similarly, the large majority of pupils were from China at 3000000 in 2019 and fell steadily by 1000000 in 2020. Followed by Australia, approximately 3000000 dwellers of Australia had visited in X country. However, the number of Australian residents visiting in X country decreased slowly to a little less than 3000000 in the final year. Regarding with the table, hotel and resort was most popular industry for tourists, earning 3. 5 million dollars in 2007 but became the less earner by 2008 with 0. 5 million dollars. Likewise, 2. 4 million dollars was generated annually by restaurant, bar and souvenir shops in 2008 which fell slightly to 1. 2 by 2008. Finally, the smallest change in annual income was accounted for tour guides, small vendors and other service that was 1. 4 million dollars to 1. 1 million dollars.
The bar diagram illustrates about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
overseas tourists had visited in X
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from 2019 to 2020, over a one-year period in terms of thousands, whereas the table indicates the annual earnings of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tourism industry in X
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
between 2007 and 2008.

Overall
, it is apparent from the
first
chart that the number of visitors in four various nations had experienced a downward trend
Possible spelling mistake found.
thorughout
the year,
however
the table evident that the income earned yearly by tourism industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend.

To commence with number of a broad
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "visitor"?
visitors
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 2000000 pupils from Europe visited in X
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the
first
year which increased
significantly
to 1000000 in 2020.
Similarly
, the large majority of pupils were from China at 3000000 in 2019 and fell
steadily
by 1000000 in 2020. Followed by Australia, approximately 3000000 dwellers of Australia had visited in X
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, the number of Australian residents visiting in X
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country
decreased
slowly
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than 3000000 in the final year.

Regarding with the table, hotel and resort was
Did you mean "the most"?
most
popular industry for tourists, earning 3. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2007
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
became the less earner by 2008 with 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
Likewise
, 2. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
was generated
annually
by restaurant, bar and souvenir shops in 2008 which fell
slightly
to 1. 2 by 2008.
Finally
, the smallest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in annual income
was accounted
for tour guides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
vendors and other service that was 1. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
to 1. 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.

IELTS academic The number of foreign tourists visiting X country in 2019 and 2020. Annual Income of various Business in X country in 2007 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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