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The line graphs show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

The given line graphs illustrate the amount of steel required and produced, and also number of workers need for steel manufacturers in the UK in the years 2010. Overall, it is clear that number of workers reduced dramatically in 2010, and also it can be seen there are significant changes in amounts of steel produced and demand in the same year. Looking at the information in more detail, we can see in January around 4000 million tones of steel produced by company, while it was required only 2000 million tones of steel. The production of steel was relatively stable till September and reached to around 5000 million tones but dropped suddenly to less than 1000 million tones in December. However, steel requirements were fluctuating from January to September but fell to zero in November but again increased to 2000 million tonnes at the end of the year. On the other hand, In January around 5000 thousand people employed by the company, but the number fell to 3000 thousand workers and remained almost at this level until September but sharply reduced employers to only 1000 thousand in December.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graphs illustrate the amount of
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steel
required and produced, and
also
number of workers need for
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steel
manufacturers in the UK in the years 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that number of workers
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reduced
dramatically
in 2010, and
also
it can be
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seen
there are significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in amounts of
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steel
produced and demand in the same year.

Looking at the information in more detail, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in January around 4000
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million
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tones
of
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steel
produced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, while it
was required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2000
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tones
of
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steel
. The production of
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steel
was
relatively
stable till September and reached to around 5000
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
dropped
suddenly
to less than 1000
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million
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tones
in December.
However
,
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steel
requirements were fluctuating from January to September
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but
fell to zero in November
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but
again increased to 2000
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million
tonnes at the
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end
of the year.

On the other hand
, In January around 5000 thousand
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people
employed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the number fell to 3000 thousand workers and remained almost at this level until September
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but
sharply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
employers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1000 thousand in December.
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IELTS academic The line graphs show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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