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The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland.

The table shows how people in different age groups spend their leisure time in Someland over the course of a year. It can be clearly seen that the amount of leisure time available varies considerably across the age groups and that people of different age levels have very different ways of spending their leisure time. According to the figures, as people age in Someland their social lives reduce. Teenagers and people in their twenties spend on average 500 hours per year on socialising and 350 hours of that time is with a group of more than 4 people. Although the total hours of socialising in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s is fairly constant (between 300-350), socialising with more than 4 people drops dramatically to 50 hours in the 30s and 40s age groups and only 25 from 50 years old. Group and individual exercise follow a similar pattern. People of all ages spend a good part of their leisure time on entertainment such as TV/video viewing and cinema. In both cases, teenagers and retired people spend around twice as much time as those who are at working age. Home entertainment ranges from just over a thousand hours for teenagers and retired people and an average of 600 hours for everyone else. Cinema accounts for 100 hours of the teenagers and retired people’s leisure time and 25-50 hours for the rest. In conclusion we can see there is a significant trend towards solitary and smaller group activities as people grow older and that teenagers and retired people spend a lot more time on entertainment than those of working age do.
The table
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shows
how
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people
in
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different
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age
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groups
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spend
their
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leisure
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time
in
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Someland
over the course of a year. It can be
clearly
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seen
that the amount of
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leisure
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time
available varies
considerably
across the
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age
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groups
and that
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people
of
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different
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age
levels have
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very
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different
ways of spending their
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leisure
time.

According to the figures, as
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people
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age
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Someland
their social
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lives
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reduce
.
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Teenagers
and
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people
in their twenties
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spend
on average 500
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hours
per year on
Possible spelling mistake. ‘socialising’ is British English.
socialising
and 350
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hours
of that
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time
is with a
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group
of more than 4
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people
. Although the total
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hours
of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘socialising’ is British English.
socialising
in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s is
fairly
constant (between 300-350),
Possible spelling mistake. ‘socialising’ is British English.
socialising
with more than 4
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people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
drops
dramatically
to 50
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hours
in the 30s and 40s
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age
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groups
and
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only
25 from 50 years
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old
.
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Group
and individual exercise follow a similar pattern.

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People
of all
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ages
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spend
a
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good
part of their
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leisure
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time
on entertainment such as TV/video viewing and cinema. In both cases,
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teenagers
and
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retired
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people
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spend
around twice as much
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time
as those who are at working
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age
. Home entertainment ranges from
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just
over a thousand
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hours
for
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teenagers
and
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retired
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people
and an average of 600
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hours
for everyone else. Cinema accounts for 100
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hours
of the
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teenagers
and
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retired
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people’s
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leisure
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time
and 25-50
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hours
for the rest.

In
The comma is probably missing here: “conclusion, we”.
conclusion we
can
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see
there is a significant trend towards solitary and smaller
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group
activities as
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people
grow older and that
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teenagers
and
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retired
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people
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spend
a lot more
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time
on entertainment than those of working
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age
do.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the hours of leisure time spent by people in different age groups in Someland.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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