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The line graph shows usage of Facebook and Twitter.

The line graph shows usage of Facebook and Twitter. 3Y5ew
The line graphs compares the average usage of two social media platforms, Twitter and Facebook by each person in a week in Australia from year 2012 to 2016. Clearly, the average usage of Facebook always outnumbered usage of Twitter except for year 2012 and 2016. In the year 2012, Facebook was used 20 times by each person in a week while Twitter was opened just few more times than Facebook. In the next year the usage of Twitter decreased drastically to nearly 13 times and that of Facebook increased to little less than a 25. The utilization of Facebook rose to 30 times in year 2014. In the same year the operation of Twitter decreased to 10 times. In following year the Facebook usage almost remained stable while it escalated to 13 times for Twitter. The number of times Facebook and Twitter were used in 2016 was nearly the same with their usage being around 35 times in a week.
The line graphs compares the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of two social media platforms, Twitter and Facebook by each person in a week in Australia from
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year
2012 to 2016.
Clearly
, the average
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usage
of Facebook always outnumbered
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usage
of Twitter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
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year
2012 and 2016.

In the
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year
2012, Facebook was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
20
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times
by each person in a week while Twitter
was opened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
few more
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times
than Facebook. In the
next
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year
the
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usage
of Twitter decreased
drastically
to
nearly
13
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times
and that of Facebook increased to
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little
less than a 25. The utilization of Facebook rose to 30
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times
in
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year
2014. In the same
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year
the operation of Twitter decreased to 10
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times
. In following
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year
the Facebook
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usage
almost remained stable while it escalated to 13
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times
for Twitter. The number of
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times
Facebook and Twitter were
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used
in 2016 was
nearly
the same with their
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usage
being around 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in a week.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows usage of Facebook and Twitter.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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