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The line graph shows visitors numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016.

The line graph shows visitors numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016. keRmd
the graph illustrates the main attractions for visitors in the city of Parkvale over a decade from 1996 and 2016. Overall, National gallery and indigenous art gallery rose up over the time period while state zoo and aquarium decelerated in the two decades followed by museum with consistent trend. In 1996, National gallery and indigenous art gallery had the lowest number of visitors with almost 0 and 300 respectively but after the year 2000 the number of people who visited these two tourists place rose up to 300 and almost 1000 in the year of 2016. State zoo, aquarium and museum started with most number of visitors by having more than 200 people per year. although these main attractions had a great start, at the end of two decades state zoo and aquarium had the least visitors with below 200 and museum has been stable over the time period with slight fluctuation.
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the
graph illustrates the main attractions for
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visitors
in the city of
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Parkvale
over a decade
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1996 to 2016"?
from 1996 and 2016
.

Overall
, National
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gallery
and indigenous art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
rose up over the time period while state zoo and aquarium decelerated in the two decades followed by museum with consistent trend.

In 1996, National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
and indigenous art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
had the lowest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
with almost 0 and 300
respectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the year 2000 the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who visited these two tourists place rose up to 300 and almost 1000 in the year of 2016.

State zoo, aquarium and museum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with most number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
by having more than 200
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
per year.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
these main attractions had a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of two decades state zoo and aquarium had the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
with below 200 and museum has been stable over the time period with slight fluctuation.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows visitors numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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