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The line graph shows total sales of gold in dubai for 12 months in 2002.

The line graph shows total sales of gold in dubai for 12 months in 2002. OrOo7
The line graph provide details about total sale of gold in dubai for 12 months in 2000 in million of dirhams. Undoubtedly, the data was calibrated in numbers. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that june and September display and downward trend whereas, the sales of gold was on peak in march. Deal of gold starting from 200 million dirham in January but grew marginally in February by 230 magnificently rise steadily on top in March and accounted to 350 but continue fall dramatically in further years. Surprisingly, the data of gold sale in july and September was approximately same. Proportion of August and April was 200 and 250 respectively. In October the trade proportion was 170 and remain unchanged in November. The ratio slowly surge in December and recover the finishing point by 190.
The line graph provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about total sale of gold in
Possible spelling mistake found.
dubai
for 12 months in 2000 in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
.
Undoubtedly
, the data
was calibrated
in numbers.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
and September display and downward trend whereas, the sales of gold was on peak in
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
.

Deal of gold starting from 200 million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dirham' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dirhams".
dirham
in January
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
grew
marginally
in February by 230
magnificently
rise
steadily
on top in March and accounted to 350
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
continue fall
dramatically
in
further
years.
Surprisingly
, the data of gold sale in
Possible spelling mistake found.
july
and September was approximately same.

Proportion of August and April was 200 and 250
respectively
. In October the trade proportion was 170 and remain unchanged in November. The ratio
slowly
surge in December and recover the finishing point by 190.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows total sales of gold in dubai for 12 months in 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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