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The graph shows information about

The graph shows information about kLEWn
The line graph provides information about the proportion of elderly people who are over 60 in three different countries as Canada, Finland Korea from 1950 to predicted year 2050. Overall, although Korea ranked the lowest position at the beginning of the period, it is predicted that it will reach the highest point at the ending of period among three countries. To begin with extremes for the past, those for Korea, Canada and Finland were in a respective manner with 5%, 7% and 9% in 1950. In 1980, the percentage of population aged over 60 had increased 3% in Korea, 15% in Canada and 13% in Finland. As for the projections for the future, Korea is expected to be predominant country people of the percentage of over 60 years old people (30%). By comparison, the figures for Canada will increase to 25%, ranking its second range. Finland will be ranked the least dominant with 24% of the total population being over 60 among mentioned states.
The line graph provides information about the proportion of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries as Canada, Finland Korea from 1950 to predicted year 2050.
Overall
, although Korea ranked the lowest position at the beginning of the period, it
is predicted
that it will reach the highest point at the ending of period among three countries. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with extremes for the past, those for Korea, Canada and Finland were
Consider replacing "in a respective manner" with the adverb for "respective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a respective manner
with 5%, 7% and 9% in 1950. In 1980, the percentage of population aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 had increased 3% in Korea, 15% in Canada and 13% in Finland. As for the projections for the future, Korea is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be predominant country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(30%). By comparison, the figures for Canada will increase to 25%, ranking its second range. Finland will
be ranked
the least dominant with 24% of the total population being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 among mentioned states.
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IELTS academic The graph shows information about

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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