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the line graph shows the urbanisation rate in south korea and indonesia

the line graph shows the urbanisation rate in south korea and indonesia aQLrm
The given line chart illustrates the proportion of urbanisation in South Korea and Indonesia from the mid-1960s to 2009. Overall, it is evident that the urbanisation rate in South Korea and Indonesia underwent an upward trend, with the former was the most prevalent nation in 2009. South Korea enjoyed the upswing in the urbanisation rate during the given period. At the top of the chart, the percentage of urbanisation in South Korea experienced a significant rise of 40%, up to nearly 70% in the first 25 years, before witnessing a plateau from 1989 to 1999. In the next 5 years, the proportion of urbanisation in South Korea started to grow again to over 80% and then staying stable until the end of the surveyed period. With regard to Indonesia which was also suffered from an upward trend in their urbanisation rate. In the mid-1960s, the proportion of this country ranked second, at approximately 18%. With some fluctuations in the first 15 years, there was a slight growth to nearly 27% in the mid-1990s, before surging to reach over 50% at the end of the period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line chart illustrates the proportion of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
in South Korea and Indonesia from the mid-1960s to 2009.

Overall
, it is evident that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
rate in South Korea and Indonesia underwent an upward trend, with the former was the most prevalent nation in 2009.

South Korea enjoyed the upswing in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
rate during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. At the top of the chart, the percentage of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
in South Korea experienced a significant rise of 40%, up to
nearly
70% in the
first
25 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
witnessing a plateau from 1989 to 1999. In the
next
5 years, the proportion of
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
in South Korea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to grow again to over 80% and then staying stable until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the surveyed period.

With regard to Indonesia which was
also
suffered from an upward trend in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
rate. In the mid-1960s, the proportion of this country ranked second, at approximately 18%. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations in the
first
15 years, there was a slight growth to
nearly
27% in the mid-1990s,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
surging to reach over 50% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic the line graph shows the urbanisation rate in south korea and indonesia

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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