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The line charts give information about the admission data of abroad international and local students in Australia universities from 2001 to 2010

The line charts give information about the admission data of abroad international and local students in Australia universities from 2001 to 2010 aQLb7
The line charts give information about the admission data of abroad international and local students in Australia universities from 2001 to 2010 overall, it can be observed that there was a steep upward trend in the number of total students both abroad and locally. the figure for commencing overseas students increased significantly. in addition the figure for this in local students underwent a fluctuation As can be seen from the line graph between 2001 and 2003. The figure for total in overseas students increased steadily from 20000 to about 30000 students. After that the number rose dramatically to over 80000 students in 2010. this was highest figure in the period. similarly the number of commencing students also jumped significantly to over 4000 students over the ten year period, although there was only a marginal increase from 2009 to 2010 In terms of local enrollees between 2001 and 2007, there was an increase of 200000 from 400000 to 600000 students in the total number. After this, it was the same throughout the period whereas the figure for commencing students underwent a fluctuation which reached the peak at a little over 200000 in 2002 followed by a slight decline to 200000 in the year 2010
The line charts give information about the admission data of abroad international and local

students in Australia universities from 2001 to 2010

overall
, it can
be observed
that there was a steep upward trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of total

students both abroad and
locally
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for commencing overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
increased

significantly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for this in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
underwent a fluctuation

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the line graph between 2001 and 2003. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for total in overseas

students increased
steadily
from 20000 to about 30000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
rose

dramatically
to over 80000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2010.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in the period.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
similarly


the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
jumped
significantly
to over 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
over

the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "ten-year"
ten year
period, although there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a marginal increase from 2009 to 2010

In terms of local
Possible spelling mistake found.
enrollees
between 2001 and 2007, there was an increase of 200000 from

400000 to 600000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
. After this, it was the same throughout the

period whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
underwent a fluctuation which reached

the peak at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
over 200000 in 2002 followed by a slight decline to 200000 in the year

2010

IELTS academic The line charts give information about the admission data of abroad international and local students in Australia universities from 2001 to 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
202 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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