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The line graph shows the population of of visitors to England to main four tourist attractions.

The line graph shows the population of of visitors to England to main four tourist attractions. yDkqP
The rendered line graph illustrates the proportion of visitors to England in four distinct attraction in Britain such as art gallery, pavilion, Pier and festival from 1980 to 2010. Overall, it is immensely clear that the percentile of tourist increase in pavilion and Pier. While plummeted in art gallery. However in festival population of visitors remained constant. At the fleeting glance, it is crystal clear that in initiating year 1980 per centum of visitors to Art gallery was accounted just above 20% whereas in pavilion proportion is around 25%. From the the following year art gallery experienced sharp rise in the number of individuals visited there from all over the world. Whilist percentage of tourist in pavilion to elevate dramatically till the 1994. Afterwards, pavilion as well as art gallery suffered a fall in the value of denizens in year 1985 and 1995 respectively. Later on, from 2000 to 2010 percentage of people visited pavilion shows a steep decline in the value. In contrast art gallery too faced loss in the the percentage of tourists and at the end of 2010 it reached at roughly 9%. Moving towards pyre percentage of tourist visited there was 10% in 1980. From 1985 to 1995 there was a minimal fluctuations in the proportion of visitors. in year 2008 popularity increased significantly and visits hit at the peak value in year 2010 around 22%. Last, festival showed stable trend till 1990. In ear 1995 a small escalation in the percentage of tourist near to 29%. However it remained constant until the 2010.
The rendered line graph illustrates the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to England in four distinct attraction in Britain such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pavilion
, Pier and festival from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, it is
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentile of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pavilion
and Pier. While plummeted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in festival population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
remained constant.

At the fleeting glance, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in initiating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1980 per centum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
was accounted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 20% whereas in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pavilion
proportion is around 25%. From
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
experienced sharp rise in the number of individuals visited there from all over the world.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whilist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pavilion
to elevate
dramatically
till the 1994. Afterwards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pavilion
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
suffered a fall in the value of denizens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1985 and 1995
respectively
. Later on, from 2000 to 2010
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pavilion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a steep decline in the value. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
too faced loss in
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2010 it reached at roughly 9%.

Moving towards pyre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
visited there was 10% in 1980. From 1985 to 1995 there was a minimal
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "fluctuation"?
fluctuations
in the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008 popularity increased
significantly
and visits hit at the peak value in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010 around 22%. Last, festival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
stable trend till 1990. In ear 1995 a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
escalation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
near to 29%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it remained constant until the 2010.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the population of of visitors to England to main four tourist attractions.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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