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The pie chart give the information of boys and girls culture and leisure activities

The pie chart give the information of boys and girls culture and leisure activities 2a2dJ
The given pair of pie chart compares the proportion of boys and girls active in various social and free tym activities. Overall, it is apparent that in the given pair of pie chart proportion of three activities are same in boys and girls culture and leisure activities. A closer look at the graph reveals that highest number of boys (34%) played computer games while this activity was lower only (16%) of the girls. The second most popular activity in the boys proportion is basketball at (26%) participation, a figure similar to that of girls proportion in dancing at (27%). Furthermore proportion of listening to music is equal (one tenth ) of both genders. Moving on, skateboard boys proportion of cultural and free time activities at (11%) in contrast girls were interested culture and leisure activity of gymnastics at same (11%). Subsequently in proportion of both genders in cultural and leisure activities of reading boys precentage is low (2%) then girls (21%) it means girls were more interested in reading than boys. Finally at 17 % boys participation in soccer and over the girls participantion in netball at (15%).
The
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given
pair of pie chart compares the
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proportion
of
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boys
and
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girls
active in various social and free
Possible spelling mistake found.
tym
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activities
.
Overall
, it is apparent that in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pair of pie chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are same in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
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girls
culture and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. A closer look at the graph reveals that highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
(34%) played computer games while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
(16%) of the
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girls
. The second most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
is basketball at (26%) participation, a figure similar to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
in dancing at (27%).
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
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proportion
of listening to music is equal (one tenth
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
of both genders. Moving on, skateboard
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boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of cultural and free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at (11%)
in contrast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were interested
culture and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of gymnastics at same (11%).
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Subsequently
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of both genders in cultural and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
Possible spelling mistake found.
precentage
is low (2%) then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
(21%) it means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
were more interested in reading than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
at 17 %
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boys
participation in soccer and over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
Possible spelling mistake found.
participantion
in netball at (15%).
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IELTS academic The pie chart give the information of boys and girls culture and leisure activities

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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