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the line graph shows the past and projected finances for a local authority in newzealand

the information about the fund which was provided to local government in Newzealand has been elucidated by 11 year period 2012-2022. The projection of measurement is shown in millions. Overall, it is clear that, rates revenue from citizens was predominate, that will remain highest through out the time period, however, exrnings will stand in the lowest position at the end of projection 2022. it can be observed that, rates revenue had the highest finance for local authority nearly 1. 5 billions in 2012. Which rose unto 2000 millions till 2020, then after it predicated to rise 300 millons more after two years. Similarly, user charges were over 1 billions for local authority in 2020 about 1700 millions and it will incline further more about 2 billions. On the other hand, it is apparent that, in 2012 grants and subsides had tiny amount about 400 millions, which went up slowly over 100 millions more compare to 1 year. While, borrowings was nearly 1 billions fund for newzealand, which fluctuated upto 202. Grants and subsides as well as borrowings interseat in 2016 about 800 millions 400 millions respectively. In the projection years borrowings will level off about 0. 8 billions finance for new zealand whereas grants and subsides will be constant about 500 millions in2022.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
information about the fund which
was provided
to local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newzealand
has
been elucidated
by 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
period 2012-2022. The projection of measurement
is shown
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, rates revenue from citizens was predominate, that will remain
A determiner is probably missing here: “the highest”.
highest
Did you mean “throughout”?
through out
the time period,
however
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
exrnings
will stand in the lowest position at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of projection 2022.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
it
can
be observed
that, rates revenue had the highest finance for local authority
nearly
1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
in 2012. Which rose unto 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
till 2020, then after it predicated to rise 300
Possible spelling mistake found.
millons
more after two years.
Similarly
, user charges were over 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
for local authority in 2020 about 1700
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
millions and
it will incline
further
more about 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
.
On the other hand
, it is apparent that, in 2012 grants and subsides had tiny amount about 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, which went up
slowly
over 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
more compare to 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. While, borrowings was
nearly
1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
fund for
Possible spelling mistake found.
newzealand
, which fluctuated
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
202. Grants and subsides
as well
as borrowings
Possible spelling mistake found.
interseat
in 2016 about 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
respectively
. In the projection years borrowings will level off about 0. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
finance for
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new zealand
whereas grants and subsides will be constant about 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in2022.
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IELTS academic the line graph shows the past and projected finances for a local authority in newzealand

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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