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The line graph shows the number of visitors per month in Summer 2013 for three museums.

The line graph shows the number of visitors per month in Summer 2013 for three museums. 5Lj5Q
The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The line graph depicts the changing pattern of visitors volume in three London museums between June to September in 2013. Overall, all three museums experienced fluctuated changing trends in number of visitors throughout the period, albeit with different levels. British Museum was the one with the most significant change, while the patterns of Science Museum and Natural History Museum were quite similar to each other. In particular, in the period from June to July, people visited British Museum dramatically went up from 600 thousand to over 700 thousand before decreased to its bottom with only 500 thousand people in august, while there were about 50 thousand dwellers in Science Museum and it hardly changed from july to august. Natural History museum steadily moved down from 400 thousand to 300 thousand people in the same given period. In addition, the next month witnessed the same increasing trend in the number of visitor of all three museums. People visited British Museum increased to more than 150 thousand – the highest figure compared to the other museums. Meanwhile, the other two museums during august – september period reached to the same destination, as the number of people visited 2 museums were both about 400 thousand.
The line graph below gives information about the
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number
of
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visitors
to three London
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museums
between June and September 2013.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Summarise' is British English.
Summarise
the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
comparisons where relevant.

The line graph depicts the changing pattern of
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visitors
volume in three London
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museums
between June to September in 2013.

Overall
, all three
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museums
experienced fluctuated changing trends in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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visitors
throughout the period, albeit with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels. British
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Museum
was the one with the most significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, while the patterns of Science
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Museum
and Natural History
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Museum
were quite similar to each other.

In particular
, in the period from June to July,
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people
visited British
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Museum
dramatically
went up from 600 thousand to over 700 thousand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decreased to its bottom with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
500 thousand
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people
in
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
, while there were about 50 thousand dwellers in Science
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Museum
and it hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
july
to
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
. Natural History
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museum
steadily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
down from 400 thousand to 300 thousand
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people
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

In addition
, the
next
month witnessed the same increasing trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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visitor
of all three
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museums
.
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People
visited British
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Museum
increased to more than 150 thousand
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the highest figure compared to the other
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museums
. Meanwhile, the other two
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museums
during
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
–
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september
period reached to the same destination, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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people
visited 2
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museums
were both about 400 thousand.

IELTS academic The line graph shows the number of visitors per month in Summer 2013 for three museums.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
237 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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