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The bar graph compares the wind energy production in four countries India, Denmark, Germany and the US between 1985 and 2000.

The bar graph compares the wind energy production in four countries India, Denmark, Germany and the US between 1985 and 2000. p1Bad
The presented diagram illustrates the wind energy produced by four nations, namely India, Denmark, Germany and the US throughout the period from 1985 to 2000. Overall, it can be explicitly observed that there is an upward movement in the wind power generation in India, Denmark and Germany, with Denmark showing the most notable growth among all the supplied countries. Whereas, the US saw a slight reduction despite being the highest producer of wind energy. At the beginning of the period, the US generated 1200 megawatts of wind energy, being the only country with a noticeably higher amount. The produced wind energy in Germany was one-third of that of the US, which was followed by Denmark and India, both of which produced roughly 200 megawatts. For the rest of the period, India witnessed a significant rise to 1200 megawatts of wind power. Similarly, the quantity of wind energy produced by Denmark drastically climbed before peaking at about 1600 megawatts, propelling Denmark towards the largest producer of wind power in 2000. Likewise, Germany experienced a growth but not as noticeable as India and Demark did. Wind energy production in this country was moderately raised by approximately 250 megawatts between 1990 and 2000. Whereas, the US was the only country registering a marginal decline in the last 10 years after a sharp increase from 1985 to 1990, becoming the second-largest generator of wind power in 2000 behind Denmark.
The presented diagram illustrates the
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wind
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energy
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produced
by four nations,
namely
India, Denmark, Germany and the US throughout the period from 1985 to 2000.

Overall
, it can be
explicitly
observed that there is an upward movement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
generation in India, Denmark and Germany, with Denmark showing the most notable growth among all the supplied
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countries
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight reduction despite being the highest producer of
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wind
energy.

At the beginning of the period, the US generated 1200 megawatts of
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wind
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energy
, being the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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country
with a
noticeably
higher amount. The
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produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Germany was one-third of that of the US, which
was followed
by Denmark and India, both of which
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produced
roughly 200 megawatts. For the rest of the period, India witnessed a significant rise to 1200 megawatts of
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wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
.
Similarly
, the quantity of
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wind
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energy
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produced
by Denmark
drastically
climbed
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before
peaking at about 1600 megawatts, propelling Denmark towards the largest producer of
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wind
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power
in 2000.

Likewise
, Germany experienced a growth
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but
not as noticeable as India and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Demark
did.
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Wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
production in this
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country
was
moderately
raised by approximately 250 megawatts between 1990 and 2000. Whereas, the US was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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country
registering a marginal decline in the last 10 years after a sharp increase from 1985 to 1990, becoming the second-largest generator of
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wind
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power
in 2000 behind Denmark.
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IELTS academic The bar graph compares the wind energy production in four countries India, Denmark, Germany and the US between 1985 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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