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the line graph shows the monthly sales in shoes company

the line graph shows the monthly sales in shoes company kYmgO
The line graph describes the sales per month of a shoe company in the particular years 2017 and 2018. Overall, it can be observed that, there is a significant difference in sales revenue of stacter shoes limited in both the years. In 2017, monthly revenue in dollar during the first month in January was 6000, from January to May, the fluctuating yet increasing sales was seen in the company. However, it plunged again to approximately 6500, in the month of June. In august, it noticed a monthly sales of 8000, which was same as it experienced in may in the same year. Moreover, at the end of the year in December sales had reached nearly to 10000, which is the highest for the particular year 2017. In terms of sales in 2018, during the starting of period it had noticed a sales of 8000, which dramatically, showed an upward trend and reached the peak in may with the revenue of 18000 dollars. However, after may it underwent a drastic decrease and plummeted to 8000. Moreover, it again gained a huge revenue in the month of August and September, which was around 14000 and 15000 respectively. However, it accounted the lowest sales in latter of 2018 which was approximately between 6000 to 8000.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of a shoe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the particular years 2017 and 2018.
Overall
, it can
be observed
that, there is a significant difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
stacter
shoes limited in both the years. In 2017, monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
in dollar during the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
in January was 6000, from January to May, the fluctuating
yet
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
However
, it plunged again to approximately 6500, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of June. In
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
, it noticed a monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of 8000, which was same as it experienced in
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Moreover
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in December
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
had reached
nearly
to 10000, which is the highest for the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2017. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 2018, during the starting of period it had noticed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of 8000, which
dramatically
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend and reached the peak in
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
of 18000 dollars.
However
, after may it underwent a drastic decrease and plummeted to 8000.
Moreover
, it again gained a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of August and September, which was around 14000 and 15000
respectively
.
However
, it accounted the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in latter of 2018 which was approximately
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 6000 and 8000".
between 6000 to 8000
.
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IELTS academic the line graph shows the monthly sales in shoes company

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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