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The given line graph illustrates number of adult citizen over 65 years and above in three different countries (USA,Sweden and Japan) in period of 100 years from 1940 to 2040.

The given line graph illustrates number of adult citizen over 65 years and above in three different countries (USA, Sweden and Japan) in period of 100 years from 1940 to 2040. XGJyw
The given line graph illustrates number of adult citizen over 65 years and above in three different countries (USA, Sweden and Japan) in period of 100 years from 1940 to 2040. Overall, Japan accounted for the lowest figure of advanced aged people in the 1940s but might expected to rose at the peak by 2040. While, USA enjoyed the highest in the earlier year yet it will drop to the bottom in final year. To begin with, there were only 5% of Japanese in 1940 and it started to fall under 5%, and then remained stable till 2000. Thereafter, it will increase to 10% in 2030 and may rise exponentially to 25% and stay well under 30% by 2040. Whereas, USA and Sweden experienced similar fluctuation at 15% in 1980, except that USA had around 10% in the 1940 and sweden around 8%. Both remained almost equal till 2019. Afterwards, it was predicted Sweden will jump little higher than USA by 2040 at 25%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates number of adult citizen over 65 years and above in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries (USA, Sweden and Japan) in period of 100 years from 1940 to 2040.

Overall
, Japan accounted for the lowest figure of advanced aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the 1940s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
Did you mean "rise"?
rose
at the peak by 2040. While, USA enjoyed the highest in the earlier year
yet
it will drop to the bottom in final year.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of Japanese in 1940 and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fall under 5%, and then remained stable till 2000. Thereafter, it will increase to 10% in 2030 and may rise
exponentially
to 25% and stay well under 30% by 2040. Whereas, USA and Sweden experienced similar fluctuation at 15% in 1980, except that USA had around 10% in the 1940 and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sweden
around 8%. Both remained almost equal till 2019. Afterwards, it
was predicted
Sweden will jump
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
higher
A determiner is probably missing here: "than the USA".
than USA
by 2040 at 25%.
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IELTS academic The given line graph illustrates number of adult citizen over 65 years and above in three different countries (USA, Sweden and Japan) in period of 100 years from 1940 to 2040.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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