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The graph shows sale trends of a smartphonr referred to as Product X in 2016

The graph shows sale trends of a smartphonr referred to as Product X in 2016 DlAap
The given bar graph represents the monthly sales percentage in the year 2016 of a smartphone represented as ProductX. At the beginning of the year, the sales were half of the expectex target of 20%, after a slivht fall, the numbers picked up in the month of March. In keeping with this trend, product X did brisk business in the month of April 2016, where it exceeded the sales target by almost 10% and achieved 32% sales. However, the sales plummetex in the months of may and june 2016, where the figures fell to -8 and -9% respectively, the lowest performance of the year. From june the sales again started to witness an upward trend and met the sales target of 20% once more in the month of October, 2016. Once again, the numbers fell to a mere 10% in November and finally there was a meagre 2 % increase in December and the year ended at 12%. It is evident from the graph that the sales of this smart phone witnessed extreme variation throughout 2016.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph represents the monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
percentage in the year 2016 of a smartphone represented as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ProductX
.

At the beginning of the year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
were half of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
expectex
target of 20%, after a
Possible spelling mistake found.
slivht
fall, the numbers picked up in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of March.

In keeping with this trend, product X did brisk business in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of April 2016, where it exceeded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
target by almost 10% and achieved 32%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
Possible spelling mistake found.
plummetex
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
of may and
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
2016, where the figures fell to -8 and -9%
respectively
, the lowest performance of the year.

From
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to witness an upward trend and met the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
target of 20% once more in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "October 2016".
October, 2016
. Once again, the numbers fell to a mere 10% in November and
finally
there was a
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
2 % increase in December and the year ended at 12%.

It is evident from the graph that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of this smart phone witnessed extreme variation throughout 2016.
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IELTS academic The graph shows sale trends of a smartphonr referred to as Product X in 2016

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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