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The line graph shows the information on the percentage of people that went to the cinema in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2020.

The line graph shows the information on the percentage of people that went to the cinema in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2020. yX613
The line graph shows the information on the percentage of people that went to the cinema in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2020. People that attend had been divided into four different age groups. Overall, the young people aged 14 to 24 seem to be more inactive going to the cinema than the older aged group. The percentage slightly dropped in the year 1995 to 2000 and it rose slightly to 20% in 2005. Then, the percentage gradually rose after 2005. People who aged 24 to 34 go to the cinema more than the people who aged 14 to 24. It had a slow dip in 2000 and rose to around 32% in 2005. After that, it remained stable until 2010. For the people who aged between 34 and 44 goes to the cinema more often than the young people. The percentage slightly dropped in 1995 to 2000 from 35% to 32%. The age between 44 to 54 have the highest percentage that visited the cinema. They had increased about 7% compared with those aged 33 to 44. As you can see in the graph all stages of people slightly drop in the 1995 to 2000 but all rose after the year 2000. The age group of the 44 to 54 had the highest percentage that visited the cinema and the age group of 14 to 24 had the lowest percentage.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the information on the
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percentage
of
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people
that went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2020.
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People
that attend had
been divided
into four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

Overall
, the young
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people
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aged
14 to 24 seem to be more inactive going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
than the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
group. The
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percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slightly
dropped in the year 1995 to 2000 and it
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rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slightly
to 20% in 2005. Then, the
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percentage
gradually
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rose
after 2005.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
24 to 34 go to the
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cinema
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
14 to 24. It had a slow dip in 2000 and
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rose
to around 32% in 2005. After that, it remained stable until 2010.

For the
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people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
between 34 and 44 goes to the
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cinema
more
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often
than the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
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percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slightly
dropped in 1995 to 2000 from 35% to 32%. The
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age
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 44 and 54".
between 44 to 54
have the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
that visited the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. They had increased about 7% compared with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
33 to 44.

As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the graph all stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slightly
drop in the 1995 to 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
after the year 2000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of the 44 to 54 had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
that visited the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of 14 to 24 had the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the information on the percentage of people that went to the cinema in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2020.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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