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the line graph shows the information about beef, pork, broilers and turkey consumption in the US from 1955 to 2012 per capita

the line graph shows the information about beef, pork, broilers and turkey consumption in the US from 1955 to 2012 per capita r68an
The line graph illustrates the per capita amount of beef, pork, broilers and turkey consumed by the Americans from 1955 to 2012. Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that beef was the most popular meat. In addition to that, while the amounts of beef, turkey and pork does not change significantly, the figure for broilers experience the most considerable rise over the period given. In 1955, per capita beef consumption stood at under 60 lb, followed by pork consumption at 50lb. Broilers and turkey were solely used from 1960, with just around 15 lb and 5 lb respectively per person. The amounts of beef rose rapidly and peaked at 90 pounds per capita in 1977, before declining gradually to over 60 lb in 2007. While pork consumption fluctuated between 40 and 50 lb per person, there was a slight increase in the amount of turkey, of about 7 lb. Broilers consumption jumped and reached a peak of 60 lb per capita in 2006, after which fell slowly in 2007. By 2012, broilers is predicted to become the most popular meat, with approximately 50 pounds per capita, followed by beef with 50 pounds the amounts of pork and turkey are expected to remain stable over 40 and 10 lb per person respectively.
The line graph illustrates the per capita
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amount
of
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beef
,
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pork
, broilers and turkey consumed by the Americans from 1955 to 2012.

Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
was the most popular meat.
In addition
to that, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
, turkey and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pork
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
significantly
, the figure for broilers experience the most considerable rise over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

In 1955, per capita
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beef
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consumption
stood at under
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60 lb
, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
at
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50lb
. Broilers and turkey were
solely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
from 1960, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around
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15 lb
and
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5 lb
respectively
per person. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
rose
rapidly
and peaked at
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
90 pounds
per capita in 1977,
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before
declining
gradually
to over
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60 lb
in 2007. While
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pork
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consumption
fluctuated between 40 and
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50 lb
per person, there was a slight increase in the
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amount
of
Did you mean the country "Turkey" (which needs to be capitalized)?
turkey
, of about
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7 lb
. Broilers
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consumption
jumped and reached a peak of
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
60 lb
per capita in 2006, after which fell
slowly
in 2007. By 2012, broilers
is predicted
to become the most popular meat, with approximately
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
50 pounds
per capita, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beef
with
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
50 pounds
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pork
and turkey are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to remain stable over 40 and
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
10 lb
per person
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the line graph shows the information about beef, pork, broilers and turkey consumption in the US from 1955 to 2012 per capita

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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